Predator Has Arrived

Grand Theft Conscience


Some of you may have had a brief visual introduction to her on Instagram.

Anyways, she has arrived in Constantia and has decided that my blog isn’t worth reading because it is so “blanched.”  I thought she meant as in, “Blanche Dubois” but sadly that is not the case.  And she is such a dominant cow that she won’t let me write any more for awhile.  What follows is Predator Speak. (She thinks she can write but she can’t).  (She has a foul mouth and she drinks irresponsibly).  (She probably smokes too but I can’t say for sure).  (And she litters).

P: Yo.  I read a blog about someone’s extended holiday somewhere exotic where the slaves are all happy and the owners are all benevolent.  I thought I would puke.  Little context here —  Constantia was designated a “whites only” district in the 50’s or 60’s or something. I don’t really care about details so don’t expect accuracy in that regard.  And that was only after it was farmed by a couple hundred slaves in the 1600’s so when you drink the wine from there it is like drinking blood.   And when you love the white town just remember its been white washed.   Just saying.  Yah, I realize there were lots of slaves everywhere and I’m not saying never drink the wine. Obviously.

Sara and Sean have already put there kids in tennis, water polo, horseback riding and squash and fuck, one of them has a personal trainer. Why not try to do something of consequence you upper middle class privileged pieces of white joy.  Ok, let’s just say, maybe take off the sunglasses for a few minutes.


A Shark In Space

Framing by sara marino

BROUGHT TO YOU BUY NATURE and a nature faker

Camping South African Style

July 8 – 10th, 2017.

From the Hermanus Golf Club we caravanned across beautiful farmland to a park that I don’t think I would have ventured to by myself.

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Annette, Simon, Luke, Kieran and their friend Daniel took us to De Hoop Nature Reserve.   We stayed in self catering cottages – each with three bedrooms, kitchenettes and they had HEATED mattresses.  Yah, not really camping and I liked it anyways!

De Hoop Nature Reserve is at the southern most tip of South Africa where mountains and dunes meet the sea.  There is a staggering amount of wildlife.  The boys thought the eland – the world’s largest antelope (think moose meets elk) were hysterical.  Leo wondered aloud about the “giant hairy ball sack” on its neck. Nice. There were ostrich, zebra, dassies, and baboons.  The baboons were problematic.

Coco squealed with fear / joy as she watched one break into Janet and Rob’s cottage.   I think Janet was in the shower (paralyzed by nudity and fear).   Simon, charged in running after it carrying a dishtowel (or maybe a doily) like a matador and screaming like a banshee and the baboon was scared sh*tless.  Literally.  Fortunately Rob documented the mess (see below) before he cleaned it up.  Then to make matters worse, another baboon scoped Simon’s pad and whilst he was away, dashed in, grabbed a loaf of bread from Annette and exited the rear window.  Skillfully,  the Aylward/Marino clan managed to keep the non humans at bay — probably because of all of our bickering.

Baboon Poo.


We had a braii – which is a South African version of a bbq – lots of meat and Annette made a spectacular vegetarian dish too.   The kids stayed up and roasted marshmallows and everyone was content.      The next day was a hike to the aquamarine beaches on this part of the Indian Ocean and tall white sand dunes for as long as you can look.    I have seen beaches and dunes before but I think I am on the cusp of an epiphany and just realized it this weekend while whale watching from those dunes.

Every year over a hundred Southern Right whales can be seen just off the shore between May and October.  We saw many.   It was spectacular to see these animals — not from a tour operation, but from a respectful distance somewhat afar.  It was very un-National Geographic.  I liked how I felt with this distance between us.  The majesty of the whale seemed more in focus to me than ever before.

I’m still trying to upload photos from the dunes but here is what I have so far …

DeHoop Nature Reserve